Gravity and your baby

You're lying in bed next to your baby and drift off accidentally.  Next thing you know, THUD.  Springing into action you're feet are on the floor before he's even crying(which at this point you're just glad to hear), you're at his side within seconds.  Thanks to that wonderful first aid class you took, you know to check his head and neck before you move him, but not suspecting any damage, he's in your arms in moments.  A few seconds later, and the crying is subsiding, and by the time mom has rushed out of the shower to see what happened, he's smiling at her.  I think it's important I note here, that if you suspect a serious injury, or any head trauma, or just need some peace of mind, please call your pediatrician, better safe than sorry.

You however, now feel like the worst parent in the world.  You just allowed a totally preventable and highly dangerous accident to happen to your baby.  For what is probably the first time, you've experienced that moment of panic, remorse, and ultimately the painful experience of having let down your son.

What you need to remember though, is that this happens to most new parents at some point.  As you're transitioning from a baby that can't go anywhere you haven't put it, to one that can move himself, you're bound to miss something.  It's ok.  Secondly, this definitely isn't the last time he'll get hurt.  In a couple months he'll be walking and then it's skinned knees and bruises on a regular basis.  These guys are built tougher than they look, and that terrible feeling you have will well outlast any pain they feel.

In the words of the great physicist Dr. Sheldon Cooper, "Gravity, thou art a heartless bitch."

Grocery Shopping

I'll let you in on a little secret.  My wife and I only spend about $70 a week on groceries for the three of us (Oliver counts, Jessi eats enough for both of them :-p).  That includes non-food items, as well as dog food.  So that works out to about $5 per person per day.  Yup, for the cost of one footlong sub, we get a day's worth of food.  Good food.  How on earth do we do that?  Well, for one thing it means spending a lot of time in the kitchen (see bake day!).  On the other hand, it means shopping smart.  So here are some shopping tips I've learned along the way.

• Buy in bulk.  I don't mean going to Costco and buying a 20lb jar of peanut butter.  I mean go to your grocery stores bulk section and buy all of your grains and beans that way.  If your grocer doesn't have a bulk grain section, try a local healthfood store.  Trust me, not only will things be cheaper this way, but you'll get better quality food.  For instance, we love steel cut oats.  It typically sells in 14oz bags for around  $2.50, whereas if we buy it from the bulk section, we can get 16oz of organic oats for $2.40 (the organic bags sell for about $4.50).  You save even more on beans, and have the bonus of not having a ton of salt added.
• Don't go to 6 different stores looking for the best deal.  It's a waste of time.  Time you could be spending with your baby, or cooking all the food you just bought.  Pick two stores that are fairly close together.  Try to pick one that's a health food store as these generally have a bigger selection of grains, fruits, and vegetables, plus the bulk sections.  The other should be a relatively cheap, supermarket type store.  Once you've been frequenting them for awhile, you'll know what's cheaper at which store, and you have to make any back and forth trips.
• Plan you're meals before you go.  Look at the weekly ads for your stores, and decide on a menu for the week.  We usually try to pick 5 dinners and have a lunch idea or two.  Meals that make good leftovers are a plus since they can go with you to work the next day.
• Don't just buy a bunch of Ramen.  We're all familiar the Ramen noodle and pizza diet.  We also know, you can't do that very long.  Fortunately there are plenty of inexpensive ways to get some variety in your diet.  Tired of rice?  Try substituting quinoa.  Sick of pasta?  Squash makes an tasty (and more nutritious) substitute.  Also adding a variety of fruits and vegetables can help stave off the flavor pangs.
• Additionally, a well stocked spice cabinet is a must
• Focus on buying nutrient dense foods.  Sure potatoes are filling (excluding the fried variety), but if you're not getting the nutrients you need, you're still going to be crabby.  So focus on incorporating as large a variety of fruits and veggies as you can.  Don't just grab a dozen bananas because they're cheap.  Buy 6 of those and a few plums.  Try to include at least one leafy green a week as well.
• Cut back on the meat.  Meat is expensive, and it turns out that, much like the meat you're eating, you can get the vitamins and nutrients you need from plants.  I'm by no means a vegetarian, I love a good steak as much as the next man, but it's just not necessary (or healthy) to have meat 7 nights a week.  Beans make an excellent protein source, and cost a lot less.
• No matter what people tell you, fresh fruits and vegetables are not expensive. They just aren't, so buy more of them.  Yes, I'm talking to you person who buys a $1.50 package of hot dogs, but scoffs at apples that are $1.00/lb.  And I stress fresh because they retain a lot more of their nutrients (not to mention taste better) than canned or frozen varieties.
• Use what you buy.  You're fridge and pantry should look pretty well empty by the end of the week.  If they're not, you probably spent a lot more than you needed, and if you've bought a lot of fresh produce, it's probably going bad.  So if it's not part of the meal plan, or you don't think you'll eat it that week, don't buy it.

I'm not saying this is easy to do, but your wallet sure will appreciate it, and probably your stomach as well, and maybe even your belt buckle (just saying).  Good shopping ya'll.

A day in life of a working dad

It's tough being a working dad.  Especially when mom works too.  My wife and I work opposing shifts, hers in the morning, and mine at night, which makes childcare a lot more affordable, but definitely takes some patience.  However, this does mean that I get lots of good one-on-one time with Oliver.

On a normal day we'll get up around 8 to see mom off, and then play until he gets hungry around 9.  Then we'll read or play some more until he takes his first nap somewhere around 10-10:30.  Then I can clean up and get ready for the day, and depending on how long he sleeps, spend some time relaxing on the computer, or playing with the dog.  He'll usually be out for about an hour, after which we'll have some tummy/floor time.   Then we'll read if he's not too restless, we're working on Jules Verne's 20,000 Leagues right now, one of dad's favorites.  If I'm lucky, after that he'll take another bottle and a short nap while I prepare my lunch and his bag for daycare, and then we're out the door and I'm in for 8 hours of non-stop fun work.

It's not a glamorous life by any means.  It's 16 hour days, 5 days a week, but it's hard to have a bad day after you hear that baby giggle, even if it only lasts a few moments.

Bake day!

I love food.  Just going to throw that out there.  Specifically real food.  The kind that's ingredients are all actually food, as opposed to a few food-like substances, some artificial flavoring, and three cups of chemical preservatives.  The problem is, it is difficult to both find and subsequently be able afford real food.

Fortunately, for those of us who don't mind spending a day in the kitchen now and then, it's really not that difficult to make real food, and the ingredients are relatively cheap.  The best part is, by making all of your food from scratch, you know exactly what's in it (and if you buy from a local co-op or farmers market, you know exactly where it came from).

I won't lie to you, when I say a day in the kitchen, I mean an 8 hour day, with an hour or two worth of breaks/downtime while things bake (and regularly checking of the Tigers game score).  However, with a little practice, you can get a lot done in 8 hours.  For instance, today I was able to make:

• 1 loaf of whole wheat sandwich bread
• 1 dozen whole wheat pretzels
• 1 pizza, plus dough for a second one
• 18 whole wheat tortillas
• Roasted vegetable burrito filling (to fill some of the tortillas of course)
• And Jessi made an apple pie in the meantime

Fortunately for me, that means I've already made three meals (including this evenings) for the week, plus bread for lunches, and a good snack.  So that means I probably won't spend more than another hour or two in the kitchen all week (which means more game time during naps!)

Super simple crock-pot split-pea soup

As I mentioned in the first post, I like cooking, and I'll probably post some recipes on here from time to time.  This is one I made the other day.  It's incredibly easy and requires almost no prep time, or cooking skills.  It's also cheap, which is nice, and tastes like you spent all day in the kitchen, which is even better.

So here's what you'll need:

2 cups green split-peas
2 carrots
1 small onion
1 tbsp salt
1 tbsp black pepper
2 bay leaves (optional)
1 tbsp cilantro (optional)
1 tsp garlic powder (or 1 clove garlic minced)
Bacon (optional, however much you like)
Water

As I said, this is recipe is super easy, so here's the "hard" part.

Peel and dice the carrots and onion.  Cook the bacon till it's just done and dice.

That's it.  Now just throw everything in the pot, add enough water to cover everything in about 2 inches of water, and give it a stir.  Turn on low for 6 hours.

There ya go, mom's impressed (bonus points if you did it while watching the baby) and happy she doesn't have to cook, and you barely did anything.  Not a bad day.

Sometimes, it's not that easy

You have a newborn.  After all the congratulations and celebrating is gone, you realize a couple things.  Firstly, you're exhausted.  Get used to it, this is a permanent feature of your life and you'll never feel well rested again (or at least for the next 20 years or so).  Secondly, now that the in-laws and family are gone, and you're having your first "alone time" with the baby, those kids are stressful.  Between the two of those, you have yourself a recipe for a meltdown, but there are a few things you can do to keep on top of your life.

First of all, always remember, the baby is on your side.  He doesn't want to be crying for three hours either, and if you can figure out what he wants, he won't.  Fortunately for you, in the first few months or so, the things he cries about will be generally (albeit not exclusively) one of three things; he needs a new diaper; he needs food; he wants to be held, typically in that order.  The first two are pretty self explanatory: give it to him.  The third sometimes represents a challenge for us dads especially since we lack the intuition for how to hold a baby.  First remember, if you're not comfortable, he probably isn't either.  Babies are conveniently sized and shaped to be comfortably held (thanks nature) and you should be able to find a good position for both of you.  Secondly, (but perhaps more importantly) remember that until he has good head control of his own, you have to make sure his head and neck are well supported.  Third, you don't have to hold him in the crook of your arm, and in fact, sometimes they don't want to be held that way.  If you're holding him horizontally and he's still upset, try holding him up and down.  Hold his rear with one and and his head and neck with the other, up against your chest.  Sometimes the sound of your heartbeat is just what he needs to relax and get some sleep.

Of course, sometimes that baby is just going to cry.  If you can't calm him down, and feel yourself getting frustrated, it's probably time you just set him in the crib and take a minute or two for yourself.  Grab a snack, relax for a minute.  There's a small chance he may just cry himself to sleep, or have calmed himself down by the time you get back.  If not, chances are just picking him up will calm him down after he's been crying for a few minutes.  Trust me, it's what mom would do.  The important thing is to avoid getting mad with the baby, that'll just end poorly.

Lastly, if you need to do something for yourself quick, don't feel bad about setting him down, even if it does result in a fit.  You can't be a good caretaker if you're grumpy.