True or False: Babies first illness

True:  Babies get sick
False:  You will panic
True:  Your wife will panic
False:  Your life will be horrible while he's sick
True:  Your life will be horrible while you're sick

Oliver came down with his first illness last week, nothing too bad, just a head cold.  The first day he had a fever, it started at about 100 and went up to 102 shortly after I left for work, which resulted in a long string of texts from the wife.  She called the pediatrician and he told her to keep an eye on him and make sure he was still eating, and that it would probably pass over without any trouble.

The next day the fever was gone, but he was still miserable.  He had a bad cough and (I'm assuming) a sore throat.  He was cranky, and didn't eat a lot, and started sleeping more than normal.  By the next day (which coincidently was the first day I had time alone with him) he was hardly eating and just wanted to sleep all day.  Which made me feel really bad for him.  On the other hand...

It gave me all sorts of time to do things I wanted to.  It was almost a day to myself, he was only up for about 2 hours total before I left for work, so I logged a good amount of me time.  I felt bad as I got him ready for daycare, he wasn't fevering anymore, so even though I knew he was no longer contagious, I still didn't want to get anyone else sick.  That feeling ended the moment I opened the door to his room and heard his cough...only it wasn't him.  Then again, still not him.  Turns out every baby in that room had the same cough he did, must have been a rough day for the caregivers.

Of course the next day, I awoke to a sore throat of my own.  Fortunately, he was still sleepy, so I didn't have to do a lot for him, but it took a lot of the fun out of my alone time.  It only got worse from there, and unlike him, I didn't get to sleep through it all.

And here I am, a week later, and I'm still stuffy and loosing my voice by the end of the day.  Fortunately, Oliver's back to normal now.  It was nice having that extra time to myself, but I sure did miss all his giggles.

A day in life of a working dad

It's tough being a working dad.  Especially when mom works too.  My wife and I work opposing shifts, hers in the morning, and mine at night, which makes childcare a lot more affordable, but definitely takes some patience.  However, this does mean that I get lots of good one-on-one time with Oliver.

On a normal day we'll get up around 8 to see mom off, and then play until he gets hungry around 9.  Then we'll read or play some more until he takes his first nap somewhere around 10-10:30.  Then I can clean up and get ready for the day, and depending on how long he sleeps, spend some time relaxing on the computer, or playing with the dog.  He'll usually be out for about an hour, after which we'll have some tummy/floor time.   Then we'll read if he's not too restless, we're working on Jules Verne's 20,000 Leagues right now, one of dad's favorites.  If I'm lucky, after that he'll take another bottle and a short nap while I prepare my lunch and his bag for daycare, and then we're out the door and I'm in for 8 hours of non-stop fun work.

It's not a glamorous life by any means.  It's 16 hour days, 5 days a week, but it's hard to have a bad day after you hear that baby giggle, even if it only lasts a few moments.

Sometimes, it's not that easy

You have a newborn.  After all the congratulations and celebrating is gone, you realize a couple things.  Firstly, you're exhausted.  Get used to it, this is a permanent feature of your life and you'll never feel well rested again (or at least for the next 20 years or so).  Secondly, now that the in-laws and family are gone, and you're having your first "alone time" with the baby, those kids are stressful.  Between the two of those, you have yourself a recipe for a meltdown, but there are a few things you can do to keep on top of your life.

First of all, always remember, the baby is on your side.  He doesn't want to be crying for three hours either, and if you can figure out what he wants, he won't.  Fortunately for you, in the first few months or so, the things he cries about will be generally (albeit not exclusively) one of three things; he needs a new diaper; he needs food; he wants to be held, typically in that order.  The first two are pretty self explanatory: give it to him.  The third sometimes represents a challenge for us dads especially since we lack the intuition for how to hold a baby.  First remember, if you're not comfortable, he probably isn't either.  Babies are conveniently sized and shaped to be comfortably held (thanks nature) and you should be able to find a good position for both of you.  Secondly, (but perhaps more importantly) remember that until he has good head control of his own, you have to make sure his head and neck are well supported.  Third, you don't have to hold him in the crook of your arm, and in fact, sometimes they don't want to be held that way.  If you're holding him horizontally and he's still upset, try holding him up and down.  Hold his rear with one and and his head and neck with the other, up against your chest.  Sometimes the sound of your heartbeat is just what he needs to relax and get some sleep.

Of course, sometimes that baby is just going to cry.  If you can't calm him down, and feel yourself getting frustrated, it's probably time you just set him in the crib and take a minute or two for yourself.  Grab a snack, relax for a minute.  There's a small chance he may just cry himself to sleep, or have calmed himself down by the time you get back.  If not, chances are just picking him up will calm him down after he's been crying for a few minutes.  Trust me, it's what mom would do.  The important thing is to avoid getting mad with the baby, that'll just end poorly.

Lastly, if you need to do something for yourself quick, don't feel bad about setting him down, even if it does result in a fit.  You can't be a good caretaker if you're grumpy.

Diapering 102

What's the first negative that comes to mind when you think about caring for a baby.  If you said diapers, I'll go ahead and assume you're not a father.  While daunting to the newbie dad at first, these quickly become one of your least concerns.  Mom probably told you how to do it, but here's a few tricks for getting your son in a clean diaper:

• Use a changing table (if you have one) and pad unless you want to be cleaning all night
• Make sure you have wipes and a clean diaper with you.  (You say 'duh' now but when you're in a hurry cause that baby won't stop crying, it'll happen.)
• If his 'boy part' is sticking up, he's probably going to urinate.  If the diaper's not too dirty, your best bet is to strap him back in for a few minutes and wait till he's done.  If it is bad, put a wipe over it, and then clean his backside.  Once that's done, get the clean diaper underneath him.  That way you can clean his topside quick and get that diaper back on (hopefully) before anything happens.
• He'll probably go anyway, and he'll get you, or the wall, or himself from time to time.  Don't worry about it just clean it up.  Your best bet is to make sure you're ready, and get him back into a clean one fast.
• Be fast, but make sure he's actually clean.  Babies don't like being dirty and they'll let you know it.  On top of that, they could develop diaper rash, which makes a rather ornery baby, and a very unhappy mom.
• Making sure he's clean means wiping everywhere BM may have gotten.  That means get into all those little baby fat rolls.  It also means you'll have to touch his 'boy parts' to get under and around them.  It's ok, I promise you won't screw him up, and you really don't want him getting an infection there.
• If he has a BM while you're changing him, it's probably not your best day, but it does happen.  I've found the best way to handle it is to clean up the pad around him, then start on his back and the pad underneath.  After that you're back to a normal diaper change.  The trick is not to panic.  You'll probably want to rinse out any of his clothes it may have dirtied afterwards so you don't ruin any of his outfits.
• Try your best to talk to him and smile while you're changing him. It may not be fun, but you'll thank yourself later.  By 3 months, Oliver thought that it's a really fun game, and it's way easier to change a diaper when baby is smiling and giggling, instead of crying.
• Make sure you get it on right.  That means those little ruffles need to be out, otherwise you may be doing laundry.  Also, you want his 'boy part' pointing down, into the diaper, for the same reason.

So there you have it.  The Household Heroes tricks and tips for changing a babies diaper.  Here's to clean babies everywhere.

Being a dad is a lot like being a tree...

When I first stepped into fatherhood, I didn't know what to do with myself.  It wasn't like a panicked, "OHMEHGERSHIMADAD!" it was more of a "Oh, you're here.  What do you want to do now?" feeling.  You see, the problem is you spend 9 months thinking about how much fun you're going to have teaching your baby to do things and play games with you, but when he finally arrives, you realize he's just a noisy, squirmy, often dirty, but adorably tiny person.  Sound like fun?  It's ok if it doesn't, that feeling goes away pretty quick.

Once you get past that, you'll realize there are a lot of fulfilling activities you can do with a newborn.  Here's a list of some of Oliver's favorites:

• Sit outside and describe everything you see. Remember to make sure it's shady, nothing is worse than a sun-burnt newborn, except his mother.
• Read a book.  It doesn't have to be a children's book, you can read whatever you're interested in, they're still just getting used to your voice and developing a sense of language.
• Take pictures.  Lots of them.  It's fun and mom will love it.
• Just hold him.  Stare at him for awhile.  It's more rewarding than it sounds, you just can't enough of your own baby.

In a few months time, there'll be plenty of time to laugh and play games.  Just enjoy the relative tranquility of a newborn while it lasts.  Being a first-time dad is a big challenge, and it can be pretty confusing.  Awkward moments will be abundant, you'll make mistakes, but it's ok, you know you're parents did too.  Just remember, being a dad is a lot like being a tree, in that it has nothing to do with being an elephant.

The Blog

I'd like to start by taking some time to explain what this blog is going to be about.  I'm a new dad, my son, Oliver, is about 4 months old now.  I've learned a lot of information in that time, and I continue to learn more each day.  So what I want to do here is pass on some of the hard-earned knowledge that I've come by, relate some amusing stories, and talk about what it means to work full time and be a full time dad.

So, a little more about me and my family to start with.  My name is Thomas, then there's my fiancee Jessi, our son, Oliver, and our dog Yoshimi.  Jessi and I grew up in the midwest and moved to Austin, Texas, a few months before Oliver was born.  Needless to say, there was a lot of change to deal with in a short amount of time.  Fortunately for Oliver (and Jessi) I'm a pretty quick learner so I got through the basics of fatherhood pretty quick.  I am both a nerd and a foodie.  When I'm not working, or taking care of Oliver, I'm generally either cooking, watching or reading some Sci-fi material, or just messing around on my computer.  My favorite sport is soccer and I follow the Premier League side Chelsea rather intently (Go Blues).  I think that's enough about me for now.

Jessi and I are both DIY and environmentally minded, so it's also likely you'll see some projects or recipes posted on here occasionally, particularly things that have to do with infants and toddlers as time goes on.